“If you can't explain it to a six year old, you don't understand it yourself.”―Einstein
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| Buckle My Shoe... |
I'm finding the questions I'm asking myself the most these days are "Is there enough 'realness' here" or "Ok, that's dome the next step would be what" yet truthfully though its mostly 'You're kidding me seriously, where glasses, again? Things like that, because the more you think about what your thinking about or saying, the more realness you find.
"'what's potential without possibility, anyway?",
When
If it's possible to look close enough at realness of the reality we inhabit what's really there?
we find there are many realities, and possibilities of realities, and that the greatest degree of freedom there is an ability to join, move with, and then pass through the each of these variables.
each one.
The Freedom we employ
5to pass through is developed proportional relationship developed between the to the variables which comprise a sum total of each degree of movement we find ourselves either willing or unwilling, able or unable to commit to.
I believe our innate capacity to be free is a radical statement, it is our willingness to be free, and any six year old can understand that, don't you think?
movement (this 'passing through' of perspectives). In the simplest of terms our capacity to be free is equal to the s
Over the past several years, what I've most contemplated is the win-win scenario and how best to best engage, present, enhance this outcome. I was first introduced to the meta-dialog of this particular 'win-win' branding of competition by the reality tv series Project Runway–though I would hardly know it at the time. And then how could I?
There's a lot I can say (as the well as the people around me who know me best) about my relationship to this reality television program. After the last round of applying to the show in 2013 (mind you this was a program I once vowed you'd have to tie me to a chair Clockwork Orange style before I would ever watch such vile parades of ego's pomp n circumstance)––it was obvious I needed an intervention of some sort, because i had risked everything––and not to fulfill some fleshy fantasy of mine about spotlights and cheering of how wonderful the thrill of victory would be––but actually, just to make it to the next round––and there was good reason to believe I would.
On September 24th (my sisters birthday) I went to NYC via Amtrack and stood in line and waited in like to apply the next morning (Another Birthday of a dear, dear friend who has supported in me in every way) for The Open Casting Call of PR's Season 13 Redux.
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| Real & Ready Early Birds – Defne Husrevoglo & Mark E Merrill September 25, 2013 |
I strongly suggest anyone who shares my obsession even if your not really sure or confident about your chances that you do this at least once! A word of advice though to those of you seriously considering taking on this noble journey (and especially if that time you stood in line-all night for Bon Jovi tickets was the best night of your life) let me burst that bubble of you right now, because if you don't walk away from that experience wishing you could find the Red-Cross tents outside prepared for the emergence psychoanalytical counseling you desperately now need, you certainly are more worthy than I. But, if you decide to take that risk, you'll meet people coming from every corner of the globe––with so much passion and so much talent with so many stories of what it took for them to be where they are now... I guarantee you this if you bring with you every ounce of passion you have, and you are willing to engage with those around you, that night itself will be far more rewarding than the fact that you didn't get cast––but really, what are the odds of that actually happening?
Yet there always will be days of strange and beautiful magic. This is Part 1 of my memory of Friday, April 23, 2010 the day after my first application to be considered as a contestant for "the program" was submitted:
Hello–Mr. Merrill? Amanda from Project Runway calling...
Me: (short silence)
Amanda: Hi, how are you doing today!
Me: (Inaudible gasp) "Ummm wow, really? I guess I must be doing pretty f**** I guess, remarkable, considering I speaking with now, yea, yup couldn't be better... that's for sure... Hi Amanda! wow
Amanda: (laughs) I'm so glad to hear that (laughs) that just made may day!
Me: "No, really, it is wow...."
Amanda: (laughs) I just wanted to let you know we received your application for Project Runaway today that you overnighted us, and yes, everything looks good, and there's a note here asking me to call you saying, "Forgot work samples!"
Ok, so let's look at what you have here, there's your application, I see both cds, here's your head shot, and Oh, isn't that sweet, we love pets here at PR Casting....
>insert incidental pet talk<
Amanda: ...I'm sure your right, he's gonna bring you lots of luck! (Laughs) Ok, your portfolio, lets see we have sketches, lots and lots of sketches and these are... I see some additional statements written in crayon, (love it), but, yes, that's all that's here, do you think you may just have forgoten to include them?
Me: Well, (nervous laugh) that's because there aren't any, I mean there are but.. No, the show was last night and I had to mail the application and I was still working on the design, but that machine was from hell let me tell you, so yes. I didn't have them... but I've been thinking about this for a while, something said just do it...
Amanda: I'm sorry, could you run that be me one more time?
Me: "I've only sewn one dress in my life, and that was yesterday, and there wasn't time to include any photos in my application... because the deadline was yesterday...."
Amanda: So, let me make sure I've got this right... You didn't send us work samples because you didn't start sewing until yesterday?
Me: April 10th, 2010 actually. That was when I began sewing, up until then I had never touch
a sewing machine before, ever... but I've been designing in my head alot and I been sketching for about a year.
Amanda: And you don't have any photos of this design you did yesterday?
Me: No I have tons, it was my first show too. Not mine, but you know the first time I had a look walk the runway. I ask every one who took photos at the show they would send me copies because I was applying to the show and it was first design but I didn't want to miss the deadline so I sent them in without any.
Amanda: So you do, if gave you and e-mail could an you send them to us, today, right now?
Me: There're all uploaded on my blog I can just send you the link.
Amanda: Ok, even better here's e-mail it's <insert email address here> and remember send me that link as soon as you get this and I'm going to show this to the producers right now and someone should get back to you, right away, Ok? And if they don't call or e-mail me Ok.
Me: Of course! Yes, absolutely this is so great, because it's the reason I'm going this that's so Important, you see everyone things I'm nuts, for walking into this with no experience, but to me that's the whole reason I'm so motivated to do this... I mean––really what's at the core of fashion? Because when you begin to pull every apart.... It's the "Thought" (emphasized)... so that puts us on an equal playing field––and that means I'll be solely relying on the creativity of that moment, right then and their an not my pre-conceptions–– that means I won't have any hang-ups... OMFG this would be the best thing in the world... can you imagine... just solely relying on my creativity only to problem solve each challenge, I'm that would be my angle––to have use my creativity alone with no experience, WOW, I mean it's not just an angle, because that's what I would have to do, but WOW could you imagine––this would be my once in a lifetime opportunity to rise above everything everyone knows about fashion, to make fashion from ideas that I don't even have, that's fucking innovation. I'm telling you, and I am so ready to bring it... this is the challenge of my life I've been waiting for... but please for give me I'm rambling on
Amanda: No that's totally Ok, just send that link to as as soon as you can, Ok?
Me: Ok!
TO BE CONTINUED
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