d to do this

you know because, I'm not for on 

<45 mins later>

Amanda: Hi Mister Mr. Merrill

"Wow, yes 



How you know I think, that's really going to work for me, you see, because, I'm not going to think like everybody else, and 

Me: "There're all uploaded on my blog, I'll just send you a link.

in and e-mail?

 pril 10th, 2010 actually. That was when I began sewing, up until then I had never touch

a sewing machine before, ever...

So, let me make sure I've got this straight... You didn't send us work samples with your application because you did start sewing until yesterday. 

the first time I ever used a sewing machine... yesterday I finished that design n

 didn't have any that's because why? 

onstructed your first garmnet on;u yesterday is that right?

 yesterday or it wasn't finished, is that what your saying... when you sent us the application, because 

 is here as well, but there a note s

(short silence)

Let's see, there's a cope of your id, lots of sketches, an looks like a four, five... seven page additional statement written in crayon (love it) of purpose written in crayon  All we have is a statement written in crayon (love it) and sketches photo's of any of your work.

Amanda, "Hi–

eM: (Nervous Laughter) Well, that's because, Augh (more nervous laughter) that's because (Nervous Laughter) I just finshed my first design yesterday and the show was yesteday to so I had to mail the application before 5 because of the deadline but I've been working on those question for a while and been sketching for a year... and well could take any photos until after I had to mail the application...

As timid yet curious as a church mouse"H-h-hello....."

Amanda, "Hi––thank you so much for applying we just got your application and everything looks good but, everything here your application, your video and yes, your portfolio, but it seems you must have forgotten to include the other photographs of work samples, because there's I only see one....  

 and I didn't have time to make another, I guess but, I've already got an for the next one, and I'm like starting that as soon as I get home from work, and I really, really think that even though I have no experience, I mean I just sat down at a sewing machine for the first time three weeks ago, but I've been designing every night in my head and i did all these sketches and I really think that this is going to work in my favor, serious, because I don't know... (slowing down a bit to annunciate my words) you know what I mean...?

Amanda: "Ok, wow, well, yes, of course, I mean..... so you you're saying you just have that one dress and nothing else and you just started sewing three weeks ago... that's what your tell me, I just want to make sure...."

Me: "Yea, but you see, I think, that's really going to work for me, you see, because, I'm not going to think like everybody else, and I mean––really what's at the core of fashion? When you pull every thing away.... It's the "Thought" (emphasized)... so that puts us on an equal playing field––and that means I'll be solely relying on the creativity of that moment, right then and their an not my pre-conceptions–– that means I won't have any hang-ups... OMFG this would be the best thing in the world... can you imagine... just solely relying on my creativity only to problem solve each challenge, I'm that would be my angle––to have use my creativity alone with no experience, WOW, I mean it's not just an angle, because that's what I would have to do, but WOW could you imagine––this would be my once in a lifetime opportunity to rise above everything everyone knows about fashion, to make fashion from ideas that I don't even have, that's fucking innovation. I'm telling you, and I am so ready to bring it... this is the challenge of my life I've been waiting for... 

Amanda: Oh, Mark, Wow, well listen, I'm going to tell our Producers what you said, and show them what you made and someone get right back to you, Ok?"

Me: COOL! Wow, OMG, YES I mean I can really DO THIS, YES! Thank you... (welling up with tears)

Amanda, "Ok, Now I'm going to show this to the producers, but thy are really really busy, so if you don't hear back I'm going to give you my e-mail, Ok?

Me: Ok, YES! Of COURSE (Trying to conceal the fact that I'm weeping tears of joy and wonderment) WOW OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH, AMANDA, I MEAN WOW..."

Amanda, "Ok, here's my e-mail do you have a pen? 

Me: (sniffles) "Uhuh.."

Amanda: Ok, Good, it's A. M. A....."


A SHAMES SELF-PROMOTION:

I would like, if I may, to take you on many a strange journey with an insiders look into the highs and lows of this, my often scandalous, always surreal, and not at all, topsy turvy, life as a Designer. And you wont get this anywhere else folks (and if you do I need to know who from). Even better, if you subscribe FASHIONTHROPE VIP, you'll get the un-edited first thought best thought copy of this post, too... and there will be nothing I can do about it, except maybe apologize in person if I need to (and yup that's a two way street). You see, getting ones thoughts down is crucial, but so too is writing to your audience. So I write, Post, and then re-write, and you'll be aghast, I'm sure over how much effort goes into these posts, which may I hope leave you with a lasting impression of 1) how much I care about the subject I am writing about, and B) the importance of just the right touch of that special brand of slapstick humor, that, well let me put it this way, no one has approached me never, ever and said said note worth points Merrill, but you tone of righting is just a bit too caviler, and well, I'm afraid the audience you are trying to reach are just not going to take you seriously (the absolute best case scenario I pray for every day) however the reality is as much as I try, and as determined as I am, to say those things that connect me to the significance of whatever I'm rambling on about––the feedback is always the same––no can care about what your writing because they don't know what your righting about––and up until today, I hadn't really cared. But thanks to my very first VIP Subscriber who does get it, and finally after all these years, weather she knew it or note, gave me exactly what I need and had and been lacking for so long. Affirmation. Don't worry I'll be hitting you with all heavy shit I can through at you, yet Goddess, I pray may I do it with a little more... style.